When the Covid-19 pandemic first started becoming more real I wrote a post about being an ALS caregiver during this crazy and uncertain time. I really want to try and keep up with what’s going on, as well as how it feels to be alive right now.
Writing from the perspective of an ALS caregiver (CALS) is what I’m used to, as that’s my role in life right now. But as things started to unfold I quickly realized that everything was being turned upside down. It was several weeks but it felt like overnight that everything changed.
For everyone else, anyway.
What’s been changing for everyone else is what has been ‘normal’ for me and Brian for the last two years. All of a sudden people were told to stay at home and basically brace for a wave of virus that is spreading throughout the nation at a breakneck pace. I started tracking the numbers three weeks ago and could see that it was only going to get worse.
I really wish we would’ve been on a nationwide lockdown at that point. I can’t even imagine the pressure that world leaders face as they try to make decisions on the spot where the stakes are high no matter what, yet we have had fair warning as this virus was identified in early January. On January 20th, WHO published a situation report about it.
As someone who cares for a person with ALS (PALS), I’m already acutely aware of the risks of contagious diseases. Our house has a bottle of hand sanitizer in every room. Brian and I have learned how to adapt to a world full of risks, and we’ve become accustomed to being ‘trapped’ at home. Well, me at home, him in his body.
Yet, that’s not what the rest of the world is used to. We live in a fast-paced, modern world. We’re movers and shakers, goers and doers. Though we saw this coming, people haven’t been delivered a clear and consistent message. Things have moved very quickly though it’s been weeks since the alarm bells started sounding in the States.
The delivery of the message from the top could go a long way to help ease some of the anxiety. The last few years of my corporate life were in a training or leadership capacity. Message delivery is key. I’ve spent an hour on one email or thinking about how I would say something to my team or to people who are being trained in an effort for people to be able to accept and embrace change. It has a direct impact on a transition, especially one that happens quickly.
But I digress.
Everything is still just so weird right now. It’s very chaotic yet at the same time, I feel this strange sense of peace in what I know is a tornado going on around us. We haven’t left the house in a month. This is nothing new to Brian, but I had finally started getting out for a few hours per week and that was feeling good. Even still, it does not feel like a month to me although it probably feels like so much longer to everyone else!
Something I’ve thought a lot about recently is the theory of relativity. My normal day doesn’t feel like your normal day. My day feels incredibly long because I am doing ugly, messy, heartbreaking tasks whereas you might be out running errands or getting ready for a trip or something like that. But now with the pandemic, most of us are in the same boat at the moment, and that boat is simply staying put.
Shoutout to the medical community who put themselves at risk so that we can stay home. THANK YOU!
We’re so used to our hustle and bustle and our grind that being told to just stay home is really giving people anxiety. That, coupled with an invisible enemy on the loose everywhere, and empty grocery store shelves, is causing a lot of anxiety and fear in people, especially older people. People have been hoarding food and supplies, and now guns, fearing the worst in people. Yes, I’ve seen the movies and watched plenty of “Walking Dead” and my thoughts can take a dark turn as well.
There are always going to be people who take advantage of the system or other people whether it’s a pandemic or not. So while I have anxiety as well, I also have faith in humanity. We rise to the occasion when we need to.
(Stay tuned for our Mucinex story which talks alllll about that. People are amazing!)
Another ALS caregiver made this comment on a post of mine and it’s perfect. “…I think we are better prepared mentally because we have dealt with constant uncertainty, grief, fear, sudden changes, loss of income, loss of freedom, and we know the importance to appreciate the moment and the little things.”
My anxiety right now is not around not being able to leave the house. I am actually incredibly grateful for that right now and wish others would heed the warnings and stay home. Being able to stay home is a luxury that could save your life! Over time it gets a little easier. I won’t say that the anxiety goes away but you do find ways to learn to live with it in the background.
This is going to hurt. It’s going to be a painful period in history. I will continue to use humor as a coping mechanism on social media, though I am well aware of the severity of all of this. The impacts are still fully unknown.
My hope is that others can find the value in the pause. Our lives have been put on hold but this too shall pass. Let’s use the time to get back to finding joy in the simple things. We’ve got all the content and news we can devour on our phones and tablets any time we need to check in on things.
We’re always saying how we’re so busy and stressed and on the go all the time. How about we stare out the window and daydream instead? What say we stroll around the yard and enjoy the songbird above while we observe a little worm on the leaf of a plant. Why don’t we do something we’ve been saying we’ve wanted to do forever? Or better yet, how about nothing at all? How about just being for a bit?
It’s easier said than done, and I’ll be the first to admit it. Life has a funny way of moving faster than we’d like even when the pause button has been pressed for us. Time will tell how we use this time.
One thing’s for sure. It’s an incredible time to be alive.
Stay safe. You matter!
Jen
